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How to Drive Your Teacher Crazy

3/6/2014

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Kids! March is a tough month for school... so close to the end of the year, yet so far away. Want to make things a little more interesting? 

I wrote something to help you out.


How to Drive Your Teacher Crazy

Our teacher was making us work really hard

On reading and math problems circled and starred.

Having no time left to play in the yard,

We decided to drive her crazy.



Driving her crazy might decrease the work.

Hearing rude noises, she’d turn with a jerk.

She’d catch nothing else but our satisfied smirks

If we could drive her crazy.



So we stuck a spider on her chair

And then put some bubblegum in her hair.

Out the window all day we directed our stares.

But that didn’t drive her crazy. 



We switched the caps of her favorite pens

And glued together her shoelace ends.

We’re sure she complained to all of her friends,

But she hadn’t yet gone crazy. 


Dogs ate our homework late in the night.

Kickball at recess became a big fight.

We insisted the incorrect answers were right

And still she hadn’t gone crazy.



We talked during class and yelled in the halls.

Desks were the bases for indoor baseball.

We stubbornly ignored her every call.

She just wasn’t going crazy. 



We whined and complained about each little thing.

We stood up before the dismissal bell's ring.

We played in our desks with erasers and string.

But she wasn’t a little bit crazy.



We tattled and twisted our stories around.

We left crayons and pencils all over the ground.

We said naughty words and were front-office bound.

But she wasn’t going crazy. 



She kept her composure through outbursts and yells.

She even resisted our memory spells.

She ignored every one of our kid-produced smells.

We couldn’t make her crazy. 



Nothing we did seemed to shake her one bit.

Not even our refusal to stand or to sit.

She just kept up her smiling through all of it.

It seemed nothing could make her crazy.



So we gave up trying to drive her mad.

We decided that maybe things weren’t that bad.

We worked hard to multiply, subtract, and add.

And her eyes looked a little bit crazy. 



We sat in our seats and raised our hands.

We quit acting like rowdy pro-football fans.

We allowed her to get through her lesson plans.

And her face looked a little bit crazy. 



We stopped throwing spitballs and pieces of food.

No longer unruly, offensive, and rude,

On her every movement our bright eyes were glued.

And she was most definitely crazy. 



Her eyes are now suspicious and wide.

She looks as if she would like to hide.

She’s nervous and jumpy and I’d

Say we’ve driven her pretty crazy.



We tried every trick in the book,

Gross surprises in each place she’d look.

Who knew that it only took

Being good to make her crazy? 



So to drive your teacher nuts,

You just have to listen to us.

Don’t plan tricks or make a big fuss.

Being good will drive her crazy!



She’ll never expect the day

When her students sit nicely and say,

“Let’s learn grammar – we’d rather not play!”

That will surely make her crazy.



Good behavior will drive her bonkers.

So to be a class that conquers

A teacher without being monsters.

Behave – it’ll drive her crazy!




Really, kids. This is the secret. Give it a try! (But don't tell them you heard it from me.)

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    Kelly Hochbein

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